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Do you feel like an impostor in your Biz?

Yep, I used to suffer from HUGE bouts of impostor syndrome.

Don’t know what that is?

Impostor Syndrome is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. When a person is experiencing  impostor syndrome, they feel like a complete and utter pretender. A fake. Their self worth plummets. They feel like they’re not good enough, they shouldn’t be here among other contemporaries who they feel are ‘real’ examples of what they should be. 

It’s very common for those who are new in business to suffer from impostor syndrome. And why wouldn’t it be? I mean, you’ve been planning and growing and learning for so long. And now’s your time to step up, to shine. That’s when you realize that even if you have all the knowledge under the sun, you’re suddenly out of your comfort zone. You’re suddenly thrown into the ring alongside more experienced people who seem to know exactly what they’re doing. Doubt sets in.

If you’d like to get a better understanding of how Impostor Syndrome can affect someone,  here’s an AMAZING video which is also one of my favourite Ted Talks ever. It’s by the amazing Amy Cuddy, and though it’s about how your body language shapes who you are, there’s a moving segment in it where Amy explains her experience of Impostor Syndrome.

You’ve probably seen me pasting it all over my Facebook wall, but here it is again anyway.

So Why don’t I suffer from Impostor Syndrome anymore?

Well, it would be more accurate to say, ‘Why don’t I suffer from Impostor Syndrome as much any more?’. It still rears it’s ugly little head from time to time, but I’ve been finding it easier to smush it (badass, cat loving style) before it does any debilitating damage.

How? Besides EFT, walking and generally looking after myself, I’ve kept something important, which I’ve recently learned, in mind constantly. Everyone is in the same business boat. Running a business does NOT mean that someone knows it all, or that they are an expert on every part of that business forever and always.

See, the world is always in flux. Things are always changing. It can sometimes be hard to keep up. And that’s what everyone is trying to do; keep up. Whether they just birthed their biz or they’re an old hand at what they do, the one thing that’s constant is the pressure to keep their biz fresh and new. Like mine. Everyone else is constantly learning about their business. Like me.

How I’ve developed my business so far is like this: I’ve worked with what I know, and if people ask me if I can do something for them, if I WANT to do it for them, and I have a good foundation of understanding around it, I’ll say yes, then learn the rest as I go.

In short, if I’ve never done it before, but reckon I can handle it, I just say yes and learn the rest. 

EVERYONE’S JUST MAKING IT UP AS THEY GO ALONG. – and that’s okay.

Now, that sounds kind of sleazy, right? Like… I don’t really have that much experience in the field you’ve inquired about, and here I am, giving you my services anyway?

Well that’s EXACTLY how I had felt for a long while, until I saw a quote from Richard Branson, which confirmed to me that that is how he rolls.

Image from Emilysquotes.com

Image from Emilysquotes.com

And to be quite honest, that’s how a lot of business peeps roll. They have the ability to think on their feet, to learn fast, and to produce awesome work, as they learn, under extreme pressure. Because everyone has to start somewhere. Everyone’s just making it up as they go along. The world is in constant flux and our businesses are too.

And that’s okay.

Learning as you go doesn’t make you an impostor, it makes you open to learning new things. It makes you a constant member of Life’s Academy.

If you find yourself suffering from impostor syndrome, don’t forget to find some support for yourself around it.

I’ve found that joining a Facebook or Mastermind group and chatting with both people in my own level of business and with those who have surpassed my level, is a super positive and helpful experience for me. It’s helped me pack away those horrible doubts about myself and my biz. If for some reason, I’m feeling  vulnerable around the same issue at any stage, I pop back into my groups and have a natter with people who have been, or are going through the same doubts.

I do this because I want to see my business grow and flourish and more importantly, I want to see myself grow and flourish too, while I’m here partaking in this wonderful Academy called Life.

Grace xXx

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Bitch Please, I’m only Human.

5 reasons this businesswoman is embracing being imperfect (and you could too!)

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Here’s something that’s been coming up for me again and again recently; the amazingly ridiculous expectations of perfection often applied to us by ourselves and others, just because we run a business.

A couple of weeks ago, I was creating some graphics for a series called ‘Boundary bits’ where I share basically the things I KNOW I should apply to my own business, and am working hard to try to implement.

A friend of mine was leafing through them with me when she laughed and said, “there is no WAY I could stick to half of these things Grace”. And I replied, “Most people probably won’t be able to stick to them all of the time, but if they can manage most of the time then that’s awesome.”

She looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and replied, “Hmmm… you’re going to have to be really disciplined and stick to your own rules young lady!” with a finger waggle.

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Though she was merely poking fun, I realized later that I had agreed with her wholeheartedly. I  believed that I have to be disciplined to a fault, now that I’m a business owner.

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realized that I had the belief that now that I’m a business owner, I have to be fitter, trimmer, smarter, more disciplined and not to mention more awesome, at all times, even though, I’m human, shit happens, change ebbs and flows constantly, and everything in is flux, at all times.

That’s when I realized that if I have this limiting (and quite scary) belief in my mind at the moment, then there could possibly be some other awesome business owners out there who believe the same limiting thing. So, I’m here to smash my nasty belief into pieces, to tell it like it REALLY is, and to embrace my own imperfections, thus improving my relationship with myself, and making it easier for me to run and enjoy my loving business. Hopefully this article will inspire you to do the same.

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BITCH PLEASE, HERE ARE SOME WAYS IN WHICH I AM ONLY HUMAN.

YOU MAY BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY WITH THEM.

1) Yes, I go to therapy. And I encourage others to too.

 

SHOCKED

 

 

I have anxiety disorder, and rather ironically, I’m not afraid to share it. It’s made me the strong fighter I am today. I’m also an introvert and a highly sensitive person. I reckon that’s why I’m so good at sitting down happily in front of a computer for hours, making awesome content.

Adding to my neat little list of disorders, another reason I pop in to shower my therapist with Grace stories, is that shit happens in daily life. Family members and beloved pets die. Relationships break up. I get run down from working on my freedom biz, because I’ve been neglecting my own self care.

So, once a week I go to therapy to keep my mental health in tip top condition. I don’t think anyone should be ashamed of doing that. If you’re slightly embarrassed by the fact that I shared this with you, then maybe you should sit your ass down and really take a look at just why you are. Do you feel I’ve over shared, or have I accidentally (on purpose) niggled at a sore issue you’ve been grappling with?

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Here’s a helpful way to look at attending therapy regularly. If you had to go to physiotherapy (for let’s say, injuring your arm during sport) once a week for six months, you probably wouldn’t bat an eyelid over it. In relation to this example, seeing a therapist is like physiotherapy for your mind. Remember: mental health is just as important as physical health, and especially in business, where you’re numero uno, large and in charge, the decision maker and the motivator.

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2). I find maintaining healthy boundaries which look after my needs very difficult (but I still do it).

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Generally, in life, my normal mode is ‘happy go lucky smiley lovey roundy face girl’. I inherently like to see people happy, so, I have a problem saying no. Due to common issues that many other people also experience in their lives, like having an unhealthy level of self esteem at times, I sometimes sway towards being a people-pleaser.

So for me, having boundaries is SUPER tough. But worth it.

I TRY to stick to my own advice as much as I can (like in those boundary bits, which you can download here and have a look at yourself). I try to exercise for a certain amount every day, and to disconnect from my phone or laptop, I try NOT to take on shitty clients, but sometimes you know, there’s cats to feed and them kitties need their bling bling too.

That’s why I take the time to identify and even print out and look at my own desired business boundaries. That’s why I stick them everywhere, especially in a section on my site or blog. I even have an accountability buddy, who I run to when I need reminding of my original healthy boundaries.

In short, I have to be constantly reminded to be a hardass. But that’s okay. 

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                   3. I feel vulnerable when it comes to sharing my psychical form with the online world.

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I’m a plus size girl. Yup, that’s right. I have a sassy plus-sized butt. Again, this is possibly attributed to sitting for hours in front of a computer creating awesome content. There are a ba-zillion business women out there, and a huge amount of them are slim enough to push through my letter box. Often, I do a very naughty thing that I know is no good for me. I compare myself to them.

And because of this, I begin to doubt myself, and to wonder. I wonder if people won’t think I’m serious about my own business and my own self care because I’m a bit on the meaty side. I wonder if I were more beautiful / stylish / taller / bendier would more people sign up for my newsletter.

I have a feeling that I’m not the only business woman (or man, or non-gender specific person) who might feel this way. So, I’ve decided to embrace myself, my visage and my lovely big butt, and start to slowly include them in my videos, courses and site. Well, maybe not my butt. I mean, you probably won’t need to see that to learn how to grow a successful creative biz. Anyway, long story short, you’ll be seeing much more of me soon.

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           4)  Sometimes I have to look up how to do stuff in front of clients, and I find it very embarrassing.

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 I work mostly with online I.T. and that stuff changes at a RAPID pace. I’ve beaten myself up mentally many a time when I’ve had to resort to old mister Google. But now, Grace. IT STOPS. NO MORE.

 Yup! I might be training someone on how to use Mailchimp, and something goes wrong, and then I have to go and Google that shit. Why? BECAUSE I AM NOT GOOGLE INCARNATE. I can’t POSSIBLY store all that shizzle up there! It would just push out my pin numbers and my favourite Bill Bailey quotes, and that is just not on. If you happen to also feel bad about this same thing, please don’t. You are also not Google incarnate.

I need to stop feeling embarrassed about this. We both need to stop feeling embarrassed about this. In fact, I want to celebrate the fact that I can find out just about how to do anything via Google. The internet is my super sassy, magical, low budget learning tool.

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AND ON AN EXTRA, FINAL NOTE.

Yes, it’s true, I am kidless. I am without kid. And it’s true, I intend to be kidless forever. HOWEVER for those of you who are WITH kid or two – and still manage to run a business – oh god lord women, give yourselves a break.

You are amazeballs.

I can barely handle two cats. I have to take my hat off to Leonie Dawson, who in her blog this week openly shares how she fills out her own planner in the bathroom, on the bathroom floor, while her child is bathing, because that’s the only free time she has right now. I LOVE HER HONESTY. That is one momtrepreneur’s reality. Moms are fucking awesome, and they blow my mind. At least I can always put the cat out the window if I totes need some time to myself. It’s hard to do the same thing with your child. Or at least not a good idea, I’ve been told.

So, this has been a blog about me being a businesswomen and only human. I suppose you could say I’ve written it more for myself than anyone else.

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Writing this article has helped me identify some ways of me being more loving to myself while running a successful business.

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It was designed like that. Even though perhaps some may say that I’m just passing on my own opinions, really each and every thing I share via this blog is a love letter to myself.

I have designed my business to be a love letter to myself.

You should try it, it’s NEAT!

And please remember this; if you take anything away with you from this blog. Please take the following, and apply it to yourself when you feel the crappy feeling of being too hard on yourself, or someone else being too hard on you.

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only human

that’s it, kids! Until next time!

GRACE xXxX

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